I found out two days ago that our dog had a stroke or something and my parents are going to put her down soon. She's 14, and we've had her since I was 6. Apparently she can't walk far and her lips and mouth don't work at all. I started to blubber like a baby when I found out, luckily my boyfriend is always here. I guess I should have expected it, she being so old and all. It's wierd though, because our guinapig was like 6 years old and he had a stroke and had to be put down (though he had some kind of brain anerism years before, and we didn't realize it. One of his eyes went all cloudy white and blinded him, we thought he was just old).

My dog's name, btw, is Bandit.

I'm in my Saturday Ballads class...and I'm so bored...I usually like this class but I keep daydreaming. I left my note book at Shane's house but luckily I have my laptop or else I'd be screwed. I'm sooo hungry right now. I withdrew a twenty to use the chain machine so I could get a drink and the damnable thing wont accept my bill :'( There's nothing open on Saturday so I can't get change here.

I have two term papers due next week. Gah this sucks. I want to paint too, but I don't have the time. I want to write a poem about sheep too, but I don't have time for that either. Or playing Wow. BLAHHHHHH. I STILL haven't finished sh0 either, though I'm told not to waste my time I want to finish it.

I found the capcom Haunting Ground site and at first I thought there was a day counter going but no, it's just a hits counter. Oh woe was me it needs a sequel. Rule of Rose is NOT a sequel damnit, and it doesn't compare AT ALL.

I guess I should start paying attention now :P

I came back from the grave to go to my British Literature exam, but that one brutally murdered my undead self. I hope someone can clone me from the mass of hair in my brush so I can attend my last exam. Thank you.

But about this exam...the multiple choice sucked for me! People were complaining about the essay portions, but out of 50 questions, about 15 of them I had not even a SLIGHT CLUE. That slaughted me. But my out look is that if I at least get a 75, I'm happy, it's above grade adverage so I can't complain. Maybe I'll get a 70. Anything below that and I'll have go on a metaphorical binder of some sorts. A binder of literature!! XD Or maybe one of video games :P I wanna play Haunting Grounds again :/

Bllllaaaaaaaaaaaahh............

Drama... S-studies....exam kill...ed...meee....avenge...my....DEATH!!

*dies*

:( Shane's gone to work and now I'm sitting at his house, waiting for my dad to pick me up. Robinson Crusoe is so bloody boring!! Blah.

Oh!! But on my website is the submission for the creative writing classes that I submitted! Please read it!
http://blackandlavender.tripod.com

...gotta get my stuff together now :/

The head of the English department called me at 9:45 pm to tell me that I've been accepted into the poetry and prose creative writing classes! I'm soooooo happpy!! My heart is going so fast I'll never sleep at this rate! My stuff can't be that bad, eh? :P SOOOO EUPHORIC!!! If I would have been rejected I would have died!! Now I can LIIIIVEEEE!! XD I've been worrying about being rejected since I heard about it and now I'm freeeeeee! ^^ I'm going to jump Shane tomorrow with hugs and maybe squeels of joy :)

D: Sleep is impossible.

Arg I go to stupid work tomorrow. But I like the feeling that I'm working off my depts. I think it's hards going in the morning and doing the boring stuff, or when people don't show up and I have to do more work than I have to, and stuff that's hard for me to do. But other than that I like work. Oh but I hate all the drama, that really sucks. I don't understand why people like causing problems and fighting and confronting and doing all that uslessness. Why? Doesn't anyone have something better to do? Do they like being miserable. They cry about how the situation sucks but they like that misery too, because it's all sensationalized drama in their head, like their lives are sitcoms.

But...work, tomorrow, yeah. Bed, now :)

Fridays sucks, generally. I'm here (home) about to paint, which will last all day. If I were at school, I wouldn't see Shane all day anyway, and I'd have to get up at 6 am. I got up at 9 am after having a terrible nightmare and now I'm almost ready to paint! It's almost done, I think, though I might cut some corners and finish it after I get it back from the teacher. I didn't like what I did on Tuesday, but now I think it might be ok. Good thing I didn't whipe it all away on impulse!

Blaahhh ok time to paint :P

I've been painting all day and now I'm so bloody tired. I have a 40X18" canvas, and I finished a smaller 20X30" piece too. The bigger one is somewhat where I wanted to get today, but I ran into some difficulties doing the grass and I think I have to redo the trees because of the way I used the knife. Bah.

Well now I'm waiting for Shane to get on...I keep missing him on msn though :/ and now I have to shower because I work tomorrow. This is why I need to get back on Wow, because I'm 90% sure he's there XD Arg tired...

I'm on my last essay woot woot! One more then it's a painting due last class of the year, then studying for three exams. I'm glad there isn't anything crazy for the art courses like last year. I'm trying to finish my Bildungsroman essay but these girls in the library wont shut up about nothing at all. They're leaving, or so they say, so I'll be ok in a couple of minutes. It's really cramped in the library today too. I'm sitting in the stupidest chair ever that's too short to sit right in and still be able to use my lap top on the desk. Also, I have a wierd fear of lice instilled in me by my mother when I was a child. I usually avoid this chair because I keep thinking that I'll sit in in and I'll have bugs in my hair. Blesh. I'm gonna switch my chair.....haha did it. Now I have a normal chair! :) Good, those girls are leaving. Back to work :P

So I have one essay completely finished, and I have one to do tonight and tomorrow morning, as it's due on Thursday at 3:30. I think I'll skip English lecture if I need to. Then I have the exibition on Saturday, and I'm in North Bay on Sunday, so I'll start on the NEXT essay that's due on the 19th, I believe. Hm :/ On Friday I need to go to the monastary and paint, or else I'll go home and FINALLY sleep in. Then again, I can do that on Sunday. We'll see what happens.

The wireless internet SUCKS this week at school, btw. I keep getting low signals and when I do get excelent ones, it still sucks as bad as a low one. Arg it's annoying. But I'm not in desperate need of the internet right now, I'm just reading messages. And then I get to re-read and highlight two or three screen plays for this essay :/ oh I give up :/

At least I get to go to Shane's house early today woot! And at 11 ish I'm going to get hot chocolate....yummy :P Ok, off to work :P

Oh god...so tired...I'm going to get...6 hours of sleep....sleep...beautiful sleep!! But it's so lonely sleeping in my bed alone :/ Tomorrow I paint, do the finishing touches on my essay, submit it to turnitin, and start the drama one :/ oh good fucking dee. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh.

ZZZzzzz.....

Just to remind myself, these are the things that are due :P

Wednesday March 12th British Literature Term Paper
Thursday March 13th Drama Studies Term Paper
Wednesday March 19th Female Bildungsroman Term Paper

Exams (Draft)

Drama Studies April 17th A122
British Literature April 18th 1:00 pm C Gym
Bildungroman April 23 A118

And Painting II and Drawing II don't have exams or term papers because we have out own stuff to deal with :P Like final projects and interviews.

I still don't feel fantastic, but at least I feel okish. Shane says he'll make pancakes with me, so if he doesn't he'll feel my wrath XP

What else is new?
I wasn't feeling good yesterday, and I wanted to maybe go home early because I have the flu or something. I wanted to know if my dad was going to take a half day because he wasn't feeling good either. He said he wasn't and said to call my mother because, and I quote "She's just sitting at home all day doing nothing anyway." So I called her and she yelled at me saying that it costs a fortune to run the van into North Bay. Fine, but chill out damnit. So I let it go. Then my dad calls me saying that no she doesn't have the time and it's too much money and I need to wait. Considering HE told me to call her, MAYBE he shouldn't be a douche bag now. So then I arranged with Shane to stay at his place this weekend and I took the time off work (I'm so sick anyway they'd just send me home). Then my father started to yell at me more saying that I had work and I told him I ALREADY sorted it out. I THINK I can run my life, thanks. I'm not 14 years old! I told him that no one wanted to pick me up so I was going to stay at Shanes and he told me that I was over reacting. Um, how? I was sick and I didn't want to stay at school feeling shitty. NEITHER of them wanted to pick me up THEN AFTER I say I'm staying at Shane's he says he'll pick me up and bring me home early. MAYBE he should have offered when I FIRST spoke to him. He only did it because I said I was going to stay in North Bay and it pissed him off. Wow, they wasted all my cell minutes by yelling at me. Nice. Now I have to put more on. Arg they're stupid.

Now I'm supposed to be doing an essay but I remembered I have a test on a book that I forgot to bring the stupid book :/ It's not on spark notes and I can't find a free ebook copy. This sucks :/ We have to go pick it up from school tomorrow.

If your squeemish, don't read this :P

I had to pick the edge of my nail off with the cuticle becayse I noticed a small black line under my nail. I thought it was a little sliver but it was a huge tirangular chunk of wood! Where the hell did that come from?! I had to sit there for 15 mintes pulling what looked like rotting flesh and pus out :/ And my bf sat there watching the entire time XDD

Second. I feel shitty. Really really shitty. I have the flu or something AGAIN. That's twice in like 3 weeks!! I hate little kids giving me their germs!! BAD CHILDREN.

Third...hm....I dunnoo....if you don't know the difference between a student with a liberal arts major and someone who calls themselves a liberal artist you're STUPID. Anyway....

I have an essay to do, and Cat's Eye by Margaret Atwood to read. I have essays due the 13, the 19 and the 20th. This sucks. But to top it all off I have the flu or something and the fucking grad photo people took over the fucking owl longue. Take your own fucking photos somewhere else! You know, maybe somewhere where there ARN'T a bunch of people working in it!

I hate Jane Eyre. I hope she gets herpies and dies. Ok, maybe not. But that would have been an interesting twist to the end: "Mr Rochester poped my cherry on my wedding night but it turns out that his first wife Bertha had herpies and now...I DO TOO." blerg..."BRAINS!!" So I guess she turned into a zombie. Well it's a lot better than what really happened.

Ok, calling my mother to pick me up now :/

Ok, so here'a a quick run down of my day.

I went to work and the two boys were supposed to be in at 8 am with me, but no one showed. At 8:30 I called and only one answered and he was surprised that he he to work, and said he was coming. At 10:15 neither one showed so I called them, the one that answered at 8 didn't pick up again and the other one I woke up and said he was coming. So at about 11:15 they showed. Yea that was nice :/ My boss started ALOT of stuff thinking that the two boys would come to package it because I was training the new baker. So then I was stuck alone with the shitty jobs that two people were supposed to do. The new baker came, she's my neighbour from up the street. She also gave my ex a job during the summer and she told me since I hate him now, that he was the laziest ass she's ever worked with :P and apparently he never showered for work, which I knew anyway. But I diagres. I was supposed to be strictly training the new baker but because the boys came in very late and did absolutely NOTHING we were bogged down with so much stuff it was retarded. Now tomorrow I'm going to have to do things that were supposed to be done today. Tomorrow will be FUN I tell you, FUN. AND the baker that was going back to the deli has to be the baker tomorrow too because the new baker isn't fully trained yet. So I have to deal with him too. :/

I'm so tired. And tomorrow isn't going to get any better.

I think that's it for my day.

Some stuff has happened recently but I haven't been able to post.

Yesterday I decided to change into a double major of English and Social Welfare with a minor in Visual arts. I've complained here for so long about how little help I was recieving in finding a suitable job other than a teacher or a journalist. I wanted, and still want, to be a novelist, but everyone needs a day job. Besides, it could turn out that no one would want to even read what I write. Negative, but realistic. I thought social welfare was interesting in high school, but where I came from there isn't much selection of ANYTHING. It was kind of sudden. I was sitting on the couch with Shane on the computer looking at job stats. Any jobs worth pursuing are located in big cities with things like magazines or publishing houses, which arn't in North Bay. But with social welfare I can get a job almost everywhere, because EVERY place has welfare, and thus an office nearby. I like helping people too, though sometimes it can be a "I want to help you help yourself," but Shane pointed out that it sounds like the Saw guy, so I stopped that :P Oh also with switching to the double major I'll have to take a forth year. That's why I'm not telling my parents yet :P Especially my mother. She'll probably do her usual freak out.

Next:

If you haven't played Silent Hill Origins, don't read this :p


I played Silent Hill Origins last night because my brother was playing RE4 in my room, and it's impossible to clean around him because of where my tv is. The pyriamid head rip off bugs me. He's even stabbing a nurse, while the PH from SH2 was raping a leggy monster. Hm, connections, anyone? Yea :P But it's not TERRIBLE so far, it just seems....not as strong as the other titles, with the exception of Sh4. I found a lovely video on youtube...that has unfortunately been removed?! T_T ouch. Well...never mind then, I posted it on SHFF in January. The narrator argued that he has NO reason to stay in Silent Hill. One could argue that he wants to know if Alessa is ok, and maybe save her (I'm only in the second location, btw, don't ruin it for me :P ). But once MONSTERS try to kill you...why would you stay? And don't tell me that he's a truck driver who has nothing better to do. Instead of trying to find a way out, he tried to find Alessa. And WHY would he follow Lisa to the Cedar Grove Sanitarium?? He met her for about a minute and so....he goes? She told him Alessa DIED. She DID NOT say that Alessa was at the Sanitarium. He has ZERO LOGICAL reason to go there. Well....anyway....

And my subscription to Wow ends tomorrow :( I'll probably pick up a new 60 day card in April, or maybe even in May. I don't have time to play anyway because of school. With the exception of playing Origins on the bus trip to Toronto. But I'm reading more than playing :P

I have 3 essays due in March :S The earliest is on the 13th. Bah stupid essays...I won't miss them.

I made cookies for Shane at his house XD But I wasn't watching them close enough and they went a tad bit too brown :P Opps. HOPEFULLY next time I'll do a better job XDD.

And just to let you all know, I love him :P He doesn't hit me or belittle me or make me cry (on purpose :P). He never tells me what to do or who to talk to or how to do things or how to be. Now that I know what love is, I'm very happy.

Ok that's it :P I have to clean my room some more and then do essay work :P

I touched up my painting "In The Distance" because it STILL isn't dry from when I painted it last week. So I though, oh what the hell. Might as well.

And I was playing with my hair tonight and I found something shocking....MORE GREY HAIRS. Arg i shouldn't have ANY. Oh well.

I did something cool too today, and nobody gets to know till tomorrow :)

I'm so lonely wah wah wah.

I get to see Shane tomorrow though :D WOO. And shop for pants-I HATE SHOPPING FOR PANTS. Pants SUCK to begin with and I hate trying them on. I'm sorry if I have an ass that doesn't like to fit in proper sizes :/ 4 fits or is usually too small, and 5 is usually too big. God I hate pants. I'm going to be waiting for his call on my cell :P At the same time...I really need pants. Or dresses/skirts if I can find any.

So tomorrow:
get up at 7 am, shower.
get dressed up pretty.
go to town, try on pants, wait for call.
go to Shanes house <3
do the art slide show thing
do English essay work
....

Thursday is doing the English essay work too. But I get to be with my cutie :)

Gah I'm tired :/ Time to tell him I need sleep...sweet precious sleep :P

Damnit I have to feed my cats.
....And there's no orange juice left!! Damnit :/

I was cleaning off my brushes in the sink when I got something in my eye and I started to rub, when my brush slipped out of my hand and down the drain!! I freaked out because for it to have fallen down the drain was such a slim chance! It would have to be on the perfect angle. My older brother came to check it out (and to laugh at me). I told my dad, who was trying to sleep, and he made a big deal out of it, saying that he'd get my brush tomorrow, and that it would take all morning because it was a huge job. Well, when I left him my older brother took literally no more than thirty seconds and unscrewed a pipe with his hands and got it out XD I was so thankful because it's a small brush that's the PERFECT size for almost any job :) But I'm not crazy enough to have named my brushes, btw, like some people ;)

Now I'm going to go tell my boyfriend :P